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Joke of the Day

"I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again"

"Two condoms walk into the bar.. One says to the other ""Hey, wanna get shit-faced?"""

"(nsfw)A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says, ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies, ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""

"Excited for Downton Abbey tonight. According to DVR description, ""Lord Grantham gets pissy when a lady challenges the class system."" Oh boy!"

"They say a woman's work is never done... Maybe that's why they get paid less than men."

"Scientists have shown that putting the phrase ""Scientists have shown"" in front of anything will make people read it."

"For fun I like to text all the men in my phone, ""she has your eyes, can't wait for you to meet her"" and then I sit back and wait."

"What is a mathematicians favorite Eagles song? Take it to the limit. RIP Glenn Frey"

"Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook? It's called ""101 ways to wok your dog"""

"If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple Thank you.' is all I need! Not all this How did you get in my house?' business!"