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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I look in the mirror I call myself ugly. because it hurts more coming from someone pretty."

"Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?"

"There is one type of person in this world... The type who half understands statistics."

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to charity... ...not sure what I'd do with the other $899,999,999.75 though."

"How do painters stay warm? They add another coat."

"An orchestra went to the desert Which member felt the warmest? The conductor."

"From my 9 year old: What do you and Tatooine have in common? You both have two sons\suns."

"So I've been trying to sell my Ubermensch Action Figures... But it's difficult to cater to such a Nietszche Market."

"FOX NEWS: ONE WINTER STORM DISPROVES GLOBAL WARMING BUT MORE THAN A BILLION PEACEFUL MUSLIMS ARE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE"

"Did you hear about the naked guy swimming in the river in Paris? He was in Seine"