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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a Crossfitter and an atheist walk into a bar.. I know this because they told everyone within two minutes."

"Why do fish live in salt water? Because *pepper* makes them sneeze!"

"[First date] ""So, do you have any pets?"" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. ""You have an albino crow?"" He prefers the term cawcasian."

"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her And according to the judge, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend"

"Whoever named them ""sugar cookies"" could've tried a little harder."

"If you love someone... Bury them in your backyard so no one can find them. Then you'll have them FOREVER! *looks out window & smiles*"

"What's black, jobless, homeless, fatherless, and has no life? Harambe."

"It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans."

"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? With a pencil..."

"Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender? Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished."