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Joke of the Day

"Why do fish live in salt water? Because *pepper* makes them sneeze!"

"Snape: ""I think the Dark Lord has returned."" Potter: ""Are you serious?"" Snape: ""No, I'm Severus."""

"Why is the beach wet? Cause the seaweed"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef."

"How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving"

"Why did Samsung call it the Galaxy Note 7? Because ""Kindle"" was taken."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They got six months each."

"I started a band called 999 Megabytes ... we haven't gotten a gig yet"

"what room zombies and vampires can't enter? the living room."

"Whoa. There are books on TAPE? Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives."