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Joke of the Day
"What's black, jobless, homeless, fatherless, and has no life? Harambe."
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"I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire."
"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? ....because he's married."
"One day long, long ago... ...there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch. But it was a long time ago, and just for that one day. The End."
"I don't really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids' history textbooks."
"There's nothing louder than the end of cycle signal on a dryer."
"I feel really bad about being at this girl's house last night. I came in seconds. Besides that, what kind of shitty name is that for a cat?"
"Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time... One asks the other, ""What do you think it'll be like?"" The other student shrugs and says, ""Remains to be seen""."
"A mother called the police on her 6 month old baby for not taking a nap. He was resisting a rest."
"So, when does this adulthood thing start then?"