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Joke of the Day

"[First date] ""So, do you have any pets?"" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. ""You have an albino crow?"" He prefers the term cawcasian."

"Quoting famous dead people on the internet is stupid. ~Confucius"

"Remember that time you thought you were more important than everyone else? Turn back, this was a click wasted"

"A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, who can fulfill his desires, and who can cook. But most importantly, he must make sure that these women never meet."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? They say he had loco-motives."

"Why can't the T-rex do any push ups? Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass."

"I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.... Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"Have you ever heard of the lady who was accused of being the infamous Quilted Killer? She's innocent until proven quilty."

"People say, ""why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?"" But I don't see anyone buying a car with out a test drive."