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Joke of the Day

"If you love someone... Bury them in your backyard so no one can find them. Then you'll have them FOREVER! *looks out window & smiles*"

"There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL! The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 2: To get to the idiot's house. Friend 1: Knock knock Friend 2: Who's there? Friend 1: The chicken"

"I'm not worried about Muslim suicide bombers They can only do it once. Those Hindu suicide bombers are the real threat."

"How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face."

"What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your scottish garden? You root it ooot!"

"My Starbucks guy just said, ""Looks like you had a rough night!"" ...I didn't even go out."

"Dear Netflix; when I got my first dvd by mail all those years ago I never dreamed that one day you would raise a child for me."

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts"

"The Puzzle - I beat a record. - Oh , what? - I managed to do a puzzle in 15 days on which he had written "" from 3 to 5 years."""