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Joke of the Day

"The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian."

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"What's your favorite city in Thailand? Phuket, I don't know..."
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don't know, don't care."
"So the other day I was throat fucking a black chick She said ""I can't breathe!"" I said ""Honey, lets not make this political."""
"Hi 911, I'd like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol"
"What did Sushi A say to Sushi B WASSABI"
"After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt."
"What do you call a paper car? A paper-machacedes"
"There are two types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower and dirty feckin liars!"
"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just beat the room for being black."