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Joke of the Day

"""Feel the burn"" yells my fitness instructor as I think that's probably how Satan greets people in Hell."

"A Newfie, a Quebecois, and a Native walk into a bar in Calgary. The bartender says ""Get the fuck out!"""

"Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics? Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here."

"Intellectual Jokes as in: Yo mama so wide she didn't fit through the Thermopylae Pass or she so fat she didn't fit through the last circle in Dante's Inferno. Let's get this thread ballin'."

"My cat sleeps on the refrigerator... I get to see her every 30 min"

"I'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights. Who wants some?"

"Called Comcast to see about dropping my service and long story short, If anyone wants to watch Showtime, call me on one of my 36 landlines."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't fuckin know, maybe if you didn't run him over we could ask him."

"Men are the best cooks... One sausage, two eggs, bit of milk and they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months"

"How are women like condoms? They spend 99% of their time in your wallet, and the other 1% on your dick."