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Joke of the Day

"A Newfie, a Quebecois, and a Native walk into a bar in Calgary. The bartender says ""Get the fuck out!"""

"The Buddhist's Root Canal Why did the Buddhist refuse novocaine during his root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication."

"Empty My head is just like the comments section. (I'm not sure if the 'Wow, such empty' is on PCs and laptops so... yeah...)"

"Cell references in excel are like gold diggers. If you want them to stay in the same place you have to throw some money at them."

"Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me."

"Panties LUST : Tearing her panties off. Love : Sliding them down gently Marriage : Folding them regularly"

"""Don't tell me how to raise my cat!,"" I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth"

"I don't trust this 'would you like cash back' bullshit. I'm trying to give you my money, but you're also trying to give me my money? Weird."

"Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his floor. The bear isn't actually dead. It's just too afraid to move."

"So another way of saying a no-brainer would be...? A Kurt-Cobainer..."