206818

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't fuckin know, maybe if you didn't run him over we could ask him."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well... I can clearly see your nuts""."

"The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, ""Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"""

"What do fat girls do in the summer? Stink"

"Today I bought some shoes from my local drug dealler.. I don't know what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day"

"Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working."

"I wanna rock with you, but not all night. That's unrealistic."

"Girls just wanna have funds."

"Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can!"

"Shopping for Melons My wife sent me to the supermarket with a grocery list, but when I unfolded and read it, all it said was ""melons"". I guess it was the honey dew list."