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Joke of the Day

"How are women like condoms? They spend 99% of their time in your wallet, and the other 1% on your dick."

"How do you blind a Chinese man? lay floss over their eyes"

"Funniest joke I've ever heard. women's rights."

"""Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza."" - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late"

"I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? He finally woke up."

"Instagram now has video! I'm going to film the hell out of this salad!"

"""Sir, we lost the platoon. All our men are gone."" A lone camouflaged fedora is seen in the distance. ""not all men"""

"Instead of ""the John,"" I call my toilet ""the Jim."" That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning."

"A local nightclub held a special ladies night for double amputees. The place was crawling with pussy."