124277
Joke of the Day
"You know you masturbate too much when... both hands pretend to be asleep."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology."
"discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition."
"Why do clowns make bad entrepreneurs? Because they're into some funny business"
"Some people go to church on Sunday mornings. I just grabbed snacks and crawled back in bed to watch porn and read tweets."
"This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses INSIDE of the cars, at least?"
"I got a new one for you. You know how I can tell if the government smokes the pot the DEA seizes? THEY'RE paranoid and OUR rights are being taken away."
"30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her."
"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: only the inner light matters."
"Why haven't we found aliens yet ? because they are searching for intelligent life too."