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Joke of the Day

"This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses INSIDE of the cars, at least?"

"After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.... ...Picking up the phone, he spoke ""Hebrew."""

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything"

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"

"I told my Jewish girlfriend I was going to stuff her in the oven Because she's my cutie pie!"

"Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st? Because they have just finished a 31 day March."

"Scientists use dead bodies? Jesus, I know they're nerds but they should still be able to make living friends."

"Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef."

"T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys."

"So there was a bomb threat at my school today... Tomorrow's gonna be a blast."