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Joke of the Day

"The Russian version of ""How I Met Your Mother"" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page."

"What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident? That's offal"

"*flips over table* *table flips back up* Table: You got a problem? Me: DO YOU? Table: ... Me: HUH? Table: ... Me: I SAID DO WE HA- Table: No"

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"I recently went to a gathering for turtles... ..bit dull. None of us came out of our shell."

"My Life get it, cause my life is a joke! *badum tisss*"

"Knock Knock! ""Who's there?"" ""9/11."" ""9/11, who?..."" I thought you said you'd never forget!"

"Which African country has the most obese inhabitants? Burkina Fatso"

"Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet."

"Why do all Egyptian's farts smell the same? Because they have a tutankhamun!"