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Joke of the Day

"Why did the magnet go to the psychiatrist? He was bipolar."

"Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice? Because his mind was always on a pellet."

"I just got slapped by a girl for asking her, ""Do you spit or swallow?"" I thought this was a very reasonable question to ask her, considering we were at a wine tasting session."

"What do girlfriends and sperm have in common? They both always seem to end up in your clothes"

"An honest Joke Job interviewer: ""What is your greatest weakness?"" Young man: ""Honesty"" Job interviewer: ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" Young man: ""I don't really give a shit what you think..."""

"APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: ""We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?"" ME: ""I write and want to dir--"" ""GUNSHOT*"

"If I like my job am I a ""gruntled"" employee??"

"What do you call a black man with a gun ? You call him ""sir""."

"What is it called when Batman skips church? .....Christian Bale."

"What's better than roses on my piano? tulips on my organ."