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Joke of the Day

"*flips over table* *table flips back up* Table: You got a problem? Me: DO YOU? Table: ... Me: HUH? Table: ... Me: I SAID DO WE HA- Table: No"

"Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person."

"I just bought a bottle of Drano... Well that was $4 down the drain."

"What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street? Sesame Street has an Oscar."

"My sister told me not to post a joke about the WTC. I asked, What Trade Center?"

"What do you call a run-down and Italian neighborhood? The Sphaghetto"

"If women only knew of the horrors men have imagined to prevent premature ejaculation. We've seen things. Horrible horrible things."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them."

"Q: What do ghosts like to chew? A: Boobble gum."

"Being an adult is 90% worrying about money and 10% spending money you don't have on treats because you've worried a lot this week."