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Joke of the Day

"What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident? That's offal"

"A Dick in hand is better than pussy in a bush"

"I dropped my phone in the bath Now it's syncing."

"Screenwriters, you know that script you're working on that's a mix between 2 brilliant films? Well it isn't and I'd like a grande soy latte."

"Love is that really warm feeling that starts from the tips of your fingers and goes towards the bottom of your hand. Oh no wait that's glove"

"How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she's the one."

"My dad died in Auschwitz He was crushed by a man falling out of a guard tower."

"I just got a part in a movie about dog walking I'm playing the lead"

"Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering ""...it would be so easy..."""

"Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year"