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Joke of the Day

"Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet."

"I got chased by two Canadian geese today. I know they were Canadian because when they realized I was genuinely scared, they apologized."

"What do you call an incredibly flexible chicken with an alien wristwatch? Bent Hen."

"If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator then... Hey come to think of it that's not a bad idea."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He [ate his food, drank his tea, etc] before it was cool."

"Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it."

"Dana White has his cock so far up Joe Rogan's ass When he farts it stutters credit /u/Blackirishman"

"Why was the hobo sad? Because he was in a great depression."

"Men get more attractive with age. Women...well they just let you put it in more places."

"[ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!"