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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend treats me like a god She ignores me till she wants to ask for something"
Next Joke
"How do you get a hipster to take a shower? Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream."
"How do tectonic plates have fun? They meet up and crack each other up."
"Why did the band Wham! break up? Because he didn't wake him up before he went went. It's [Jitterbug]( http://youtu.be/pIgZ7gMze7A), people."
"Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January? Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat."
"Don't fret, I'll buy you a guitar, no strings attached. You might not want it because you're a little picky."
"If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime what do freedom fighters fight?"
"Q: What do you call Robin Hood's mother? A: Mother Hood."
"Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff? So it would push back."
"Church is the worst book club ever. We've been talking about the same book for 2,000 years and most of us still haven't even read it"