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Joke of the Day

"Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January? Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat."

"I once knew a girl who confused a tube of KY jelly... for a tube of super glue. I asked her how it happened... her lips were sealed."

"Why the carpenter is always constipated? Because his stool so hard!"

"I would make a sarcastic comment about North Korea... ... but it's been banned."

"The only way an ice cream sandwich could get any better is if it was shaped like a titty."

"What is the last thing to go through the mind of a suicide bomber? His own ass."

"Did you guys hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? He turned out to be a seasoned veteran."

"I'm not a huge fan homeopathy... ...but I guess it's okay in small amounts."

"We can't deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one."

"Georgie Porgie puddin 'n pie, jerked off on his girlfriend's eye, when her eye was all stuck shut, Georgie fucked that one eye slut!"