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Joke of the Day

"Don't fret, I'll buy you a guitar, no strings attached. You might not want it because you're a little picky."

"Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss."

"What's a dog's favorite chip? Ruffles :)"

"I'm a prince in Lagos, Nigeria and I want you to help me move $500 million out of the country."

"I stole a wolf pup from a rundown wildlife refuge. Turns out it was just a Shih Tzu."

"I found a sub for Ethiopian Food. . /r/ethiopianfood"

"Let's make it weird. Dont worry. I'll start."

"I could probably kill this woman, serve my prison sentence, come back here and buy my diet coke before she finishes writing her check."

"If I had a bodyguard, I'm pretty sure he'd just spend most of his time sighing and saying ""Don't eat that..."""

"Q: What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk"