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Joke of the Day

"I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage."

"The longest joke in the world. [Worth it.] (http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com)"

"The memory foam in my mattress is probably wishing it could forget me."

"I invented a new joke today I invented a new word today Plagiarism"

"Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed."

"What do you call an unemployed classical musician? Baroque"

"What do you call a black man who flies airplanes? A pilot, you fucking racist."

"What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common? For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)"

"I like my panties like I like my bass... Dropped"

"Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table."