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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot about a person by the type of car they drive. For example, if they drive a Taxi, they're probably a cab driver."

"If life gives you melons. You're probably dyslexic."

"May I hold your baby? May I throw her across the room into that pile of empty boxes? Okay, I'll just hold her then."

"such a hipster... they were into Adele before she got big."

"[politics] I think Trump settled the whole ""tiny hands equals small penis"" argument today... It must take a pretty massive dick to fuck the entire world at once"

"Great Comcast customer service http://gizmodo.com/comcast-changed-customers-name-to-asshole-brown-but-i-1682409072 Best article i red in while."

"Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"I am against Picketing But I don't know how to show it"

"I finally finished the jigsaw puzzle It took me 2 years but I was well chuffed seeing as the box said 6-10 years."

"They say Ronda Rousey isn't much of a wrestler... But you'll be amazed when you see her box."