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Joke of the Day

"such a hipster... they were into Adele before she got big."

"I told a Chinese guy that they always smell like Chinese food. He said ""aw that's lo, mein."""

"Someone should invent a version of Twitter for people who spell things like rappers. They could call it ""twita"". Dat would b nize"

"The best part about being ugly? You don't have to change your profile picture for Halloween."

"*calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly."

"Menstruation is NOT a laughing matter. Period."

"I saw your mother kicking a can down the street with one shoe. I asked her if she'd lost a shoe. ""Naw, found one"""

"What is the difference Between a santa and a jew? Santa enters the chimney and jew leaves the chimney."

"I tried to sell Ikea my new range of combat furniture. It wasn't going well, so I decided to chair the meeting. A couple of minutes later, it was all-out wardrobe."

"If someone tells you to spell part backwards don't do it It's a trap!"