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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"s/o to the first person who saw a horse and was like ""YO i wanna sit on that thing and make it take me places"""

"Excuse me -are you a psychic hooker? **cuz you just blew my mind.** *full credit: gavin mcginnes via streetboners blog from about 5 years ago.*"

"I almost had a threesome last night... Just needed two more people."

"Jews don't recognise Jesus Protestants don't recognise the Pope Baptists don't recognise each other at the liquor store"

"Passwords 123456 abcdef Password"

"Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils."

"Capitalization is important... It's the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"Three monkeys walk into a bar... I forgot the rest, but your mom's a whore."

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it was pizza."