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Joke of the Day
"A roman walks in a bar... holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers please."""
Next Joke
"If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead, I would choose someone who is dead so I didn't have to listen to them chew."
"Trump is like Hurricane Matthew The media is talking about it nonstop. Nobody knows how bad it's going to be, but you can't help shake your head at the Floridan who ignores the warning."
"I was on a date last night and the girl said my breath smells like fire. I said, ""yeah, I ate my mixtape."""
"How do we know that God isn't a woman? Because we're not all sandwiches"
"Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me ""The defendant"" for a full day."
"how do lawyers argue without crying"
"How do you make a woman scream for an hour after sex? You wipe your dick with her pillow"
"And God Said to John... ""Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life."" But John came fifth and he won a toaster"
"What is a bear after it is 10 years old? 11 years old."