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Joke of the Day

"how do lawyers argue without crying"

"Naming my daughter ""A Relationship"" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her."

"Did you hear about the guy who ate his trousers? He pooped his pants!"

"Last night my wife got pissed because I kicked the ice cubes I dropped under the refrigerator. But now it's just water under the fridge."

"Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic."

"Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius."

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup? Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup."

"*Takes drive down memory lane *Gets a DUI"

"Once upon a time there was a yellow frog and a pink elephant..."