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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a woman scream for an hour after sex? You wipe your dick with her pillow"

"How does a deaf Gynecologist communicate with his patients? He reads lips."

"What did one piece of bread say to the sad piece of bread? Its going to be all rye."

"Ladies, men like it when your hair has lots of body, not the other way around."

"Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100's of strangers' mouths"

"Got a phone call today to do a stand up gig at a fire station... ... Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax."

"Did you see that new porno for necrophiliacs? It's called ""Sex Feet Under""."

"What's the worst thing about owning a dildo farm? Squatters."

"What's the difference between a Boko Haram training camp and a Nigerian refugee camp? I don't know, I just fly the fighter jet."

"Oh, you like Five Guys hamburgers more than In-N-Out? *unfollows *blocks *stews *hires assassin on Craigslist *unblocks to monitor situation"