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Joke of the Day

"If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead, I would choose someone who is dead so I didn't have to listen to them chew."

"What do they call their mistresses in Islamic countries? Haram Baes"

"What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart? A knife."

"What do you call a black guy who flies airplanes? A pilot, you racist."

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Spaniard walk into a bar.. The Icelander couldn't come because he was still at the European Cup"

"How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"I called my doctor and told her I have an erection that's lasted longer than 4 hours. We're meeting for drinks in 30 minutes."

"Why do virgins never stand still? They are used to being chaste."

"Toast should never pick a fight with me because I eat toast for breakfast."

"How can a cat walk with no feet? He can't, it's impawsible."