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Joke of the Day

"How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb? I thought 12, but the basements still dark."

"A guest checked in and informed us that his plane had a ton of delays throughout the day. I replied ""well, at least it didn't disappear, eh?"""

"Hey Dora the Explorer, stop talking to me like I'm a FUCKING RETARD!"

"What does the Farmer say when he is searching his shovel ? Where is my shovel ?"

"Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling weed"

"Selfie Stick - Picture taking device used when the internet has made you so socially awkward you can't ask a stranger to take a pic for you"

"What should you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler"

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once"

"What do you get when you cross a onion and a donkey? A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye"

"What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&M student have in common? They both applied to UT Austin"