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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a hotdog to dance? You put Mustard on the beat"

"What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house? Mortgage freeman."

"Couple beside me in restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom."

"Just realized I only had one meal today. One, thirteen-hour meal."

"Guys are always 'just kidding' unless you say yes"

"I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her."

"What happened before the Big Bang? Of course, The Big Foreplay."

"Check up time. I've just been for my 6 month check up and everything seem to be going well until he slipped his finger in to check my prostate. I will not be using that dental practise again."

"There are TV shows literally every day so no I am not free to hang out ever."

"I wanna get rid of this memory foam mattress, but it knows too much."