123719

Joke of the Day

"Yes, I'm a professor. I teach intercourse 101 and my wife is the only student. She's getting a D"

"Q: How do you milk sheep? .... .... .... A: With iPhone accessories."

"I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.."

"I told my mate that I couldn't make his wedding as I'm going to a brothel. ""You fucking arsehole"" he said. ""Depends how much money I have""."

"Ugly is such an ugly word. If you must describe me I'd prefer if you used the term ""handsomely-challenged"""

"Sometimes when I cum, I scream really loudly because people should knock before opening a bathroom stall."

"A chicken walks into a bar... Chicken: got any chicken food? Bartender: Nope, thats across the road. That answers that question"

"A priest checks into a Hyatt... A priest checks into a Hyatt. Asks the front desk, ""Is the porn channel disabled?"" Guy at the front desk replies, ""No, you sick fuck. It's regular porn."""

"[Chumbawumba concert] I get knocked down, but I get up again.. [whack-a-mole just goin nuts in the crowd] ""Aw hell yeah!"""

"Buy this car, this is a good car, you could put a bunch of ducks in this car, probably 30-40 ducks"