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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I cum, I scream really loudly because people should knock before opening a bathroom stall."

"Ugh, I'm starting to regret getting bangs. ""You don't have bangs."" Wait, what's that thing you get when a bat bites you? ""Rabies?"" That's it"

"My grandpa was always disappointed in me.... When I was five my grandpa was always disappointed in me. He would tell me ""when I was your age I was six."""

"Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble"

"whats the difference between acne and catholic preists acne doesnt come on a boys face until 13"

"I saw a billboard on the way to work this morning that read ""Future Events."" Well, that's a sign of things to come."

"So they're coming out with a new $10 bill featuring a woman. But it's only worth $7.70."

"Girl said she wanted to have my babies so I invited her over. But she didn't look happy when I told her to put them to bed by 8 and went out"

"Say what you will about terrorism in Europe At least our planes take off and land at an airport."

"Why do they say I'm black in the bedroom? I'm fast."