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Joke of the Day

"Why do programmers drink coffee so much? So they aren't lying when they say they like Java."

"Tummy REALLY hurts. I guess that's what I get for being extra careful of diseases! (Coating all foods/drinks in Purell)"

"A man walks into a cafe... splash!"

"I saw santa fucking my mom. To get back at him i decided to poison his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod."

"Live for what tomorrow has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away."

"I used to have a student who suffered from suicidal thoughts but now I don't."

"This is the funniest joke you'll ever read, I promise! [removed]"

"Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity"

"""Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead"" she hexed."