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Joke of the Day

"Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Q: Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? A: Because she has no arms. *knock* *knock* Q:Who's there ? A:Not Sarah."

"What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach? Cheez It!"

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia? He was snowed in."

"""Get your fax straight!"" - a tweet that would have been so funny in 1987"

"If strippers are now called ""exotic dancers"" then drug dealers should be called ""exotic pharmacists""."

"The way to treat women is always in your heart. Beat beat beat."

"I know this may have been posted as it is fairly common, but here it is anyway: What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal? Claude"

"What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway? Sub humans."

"Do you want to know a good Jewish wine? Ma, when are we going to Miami?"

"Women can be so ungrateful. I just made breakfast in bed & instead of thanking me, she screams ""Who are you! How did you get in my house?"""