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Joke of the Day

"I saw santa fucking my mom. To get back at him i decided to poison his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"Saved a little girl from getting raped this weekend I raped a little boy instead"

"Remember ... Jesus died for your Peeps."

"MATH Q: 5 friends wanna split a $50 dinner. But Josh wants a separate check bc his thing was $2 less. Really, Josh? This is y nobody likes u"

"Last night I ate a full package of Cinncinati zoo Gosh, I must've spent hours in the bathroom."

"Einstein wrote a theory about Space... It was about time too!"

"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."

"What do you do with your gum when there isn't a trash can/little kid's hair to throw it in?"

"What was Hitler's favorite letter? Not z!"

"When I lost my virginity, it was great....... When I finally saw a vagina in real life, it was like meeting a celebrity. I was like ""Oh my god! I've seen all your movies!"""