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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between your mom and a mosquito? (not for sensitive peeps) A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"A guy walks into a bar wearing plastic wrap pants... The bartender says ""Whoa there buddy, just turn around and leave - I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife ""you said you wanted the biggest one right"" Because I'm a great husband"

"What is a ghost's favorite airplane? BOO!eing"

"Marc Anthony jeans at Kohl's come in three cuts - tuberculosis, heroin addict and skeletor."

"Do I turn left when nothing is right? Or do I turn right when there's nothing left?"

"You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? Hahahaa WHY!!??"

"Q: You can sleep on it, brush your teeth with it and sit on it, what is it? A: A bed, a tooth brush, and a chair."

"My first job was a dishwasher at the National Radar Company Turns out the dishes were a lot larger than I first thought"

"A guy named Lur tells his friend about a business idea... ""I have a brilliant idea! I am going to make and sell my own line of cars!"" To which his friend replied ""Christ, Lur!"""