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Joke of the Day

"You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? Hahahaa WHY!!??"

"Just explained the Higgs Boson to my friend even tho I don't understand it. He was very convinced. I bet this is how religions get started."

"Everything is made from matter... That's why everything matters."

"My atheist friend let out a sneeze... ""Damn you,"" I responded."

"My 9 year old son just told me this one Q: What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship? A: A decade Ba dum tish."

"How do we fix boxing? We can't. It's already fixed."

"What's black and is on top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a housefire."

"I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels."

"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"

"My brother just updated his status to ""I love my girlfriend <3"". I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous."