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Joke of the Day

"Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it's time to dispose of the boss's body, they all pretend to be working."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because she's lesbian today. She also decided she's a pescetarian."

"LPT before weighing yourself, take a poop... You'll weigh a shit load less."

"I just got invited to a Game of Thrones themed wedding I think those bastards are going try to kill everyone"

"i got complimented on my driving earlier they left a note on the car saying parking fine"

"Which clown has killed the most people? Ronald McDonald"

"Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight... So as an adult, I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."

"What's great when you're at work, and terrible when you're in bed? Getting off early"

"The self-checkout line was invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons."

"I don't like how girls always want the guy to make the first move. Sometimes I just want to play as black."