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Joke of the Day

"My friends are like ""hey come camping with us this weekend"" & I'm like ""I can't, I have to get new friends"""

"[NSFW] I just came up with the female version of the, 'helping Jack off the bus' joke. If you had a Vietnamese friend named Gina, wold you ask her to eat Pho Gina?"

"What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca and a vampire? AUTOEXEC.BAT (Not my joke, but I tell it every time a buzz needs killed.)"

"I asked my waiter how long my pizza would be... his reply was, not very long."

"""Should the cabin lose pressure oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children."""

"Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A: A LOCOmotive."

"My attention span is shorter than donuts are better with sprinkles."

"Shopping for houses, it seems like a lot of the houses in my price range need some TLC... But I don't want no scrubs."

"What's the difference between Hitler and cops? Come on, he wasn't that bad."

"Whats the difference between an onion and a hooker? I dont cry when I cut up a hooker"