109909

Joke of the Day

"Me: A watched pot never boils. Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Try turning on the stove, idiot."

"What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? The Mercedes can easily reach 40."

"Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey"

"What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra? Microsoft"

"I got arrested while jamming on my guitar.. Apparently, I was fingering A Minor."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them for feminists."

"I played the word ""mature"" in a game of Scrabble. My friend played ""immature"" and got the Triple Word Score so I flipped the board over."

"Nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba."

"In current news: US: Stop that Middle East: Stop what? US: That Middle East: This? US: Yes that Middle East: This? America: OMG STAAAHP"

"""Who's got two thumbs and finds this joke funny?"" ""Not this guy!"" -Thumb amputee victim"