195629

Joke of the Day

"According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet"

"What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom? I've been framed."

"When Germany won the World Cup, I did nazi that coming."

"What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East? Oman"

"In Soviet Russia, Crimea River."

"Never judge Darth Vader's parenting abilities harshly when we live in a world where Toddlers In Tiaras exists."

"""Easter?"" HERE ""Thanksgiving?"" HERE ""Christmas?"" PRESENT"

"What's the big deal? Gay people could always get married. Just not to each other."

"What Is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One is white, made of plastic, and very dangerous if left around small children. The other is a plastic bag."

"I became a proud dad today. He's four but he was a boring little shit for the first three years."