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Joke of the Day
"Do you know why every new bride smiles? Because she just gave her last blow job."
Next Joke
"At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both."
"[at restaurant] ""check, please!"" [waiter leans over] sir, again, there are no monsters under the table ""ok....goodnight"" wait what"
"Ray Rice hitting his wife on the elevator... Was wrong on so many levels. And I'll show myself out."
"Fairytales You know what the two most known fairytales start with? ""Once upon a time"" and, ""In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."""
"You can tell I come from a long line of hunters the way I cunningly stalk the rare Totino's Frozen Pizza."
"When my grandad was 75 he started walking 5 miles a day. He's 80 now and no one knows where the hell he is!"
"Girls don't fart or poo That's why they are full of shit."
"A person in my class is constantly playing with his watch I wish I had that kind of time on my hands"
"why are terrorists so popular at parties? Because They're the bomb"