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Joke of the Day

"STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks."

"Two tampons are walking down the street. One is a name brand, and the other is generic. Which one talks to you first? Neither. They're stuck up bitches."

"I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign. So now I never floss."

"Mommy I got an A ""Mommy! Mommy! I got an A"" says Tommy to his mommy ""So what? You still have cancer!"" says mommy"

"Which Spanish superhero has three wives? Amor-Man"

"All I want in this world is some one I can turn to and yell, ""Avenge Me!!"" if I'm dying or wrongly accused of a crime. Oh and rocket shoes"

"What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet? Lieutenant"

"Santa is near .... ... I can sense his presents."

"What do you call a dog that harasses kids? A pit bully!"

"What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Wheres my tractor?"