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Joke of the Day

"I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Internet than to imaginary friends in the sky."

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"Jokes on Me - Said Djoke's girlfriend."
"My truck handles great... the amount of G's it can pull in a corner is only limited by the amount of rope."
"Where do all guys come from? ...Their dicks. Where else? (is bad i know)"
"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."
"What's red and has two legs? Half a cat"
"Trying to argue with someone over text is like being Italian and trying to talk with handcuffs on"
"Doctors gave me an IQ test at the hospital. The results were negative."
"I got arrested for saying ""Hi!"" to my friend Jack The Air Marshall doesn't screw around"
"I find that most women are like roller coasters... They won't let me on them because I'm too fat."