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Joke of the Day

"- I'm your son's teacher and I'm calling to tell you that he may be a compulsive liar. - And a damn good one. I don't have any sons."

"Did you hear about the guy who is both a taxidermist and veterinarian? He has a sign on the door that says ""Either way, you get your dog back."""

"What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD"

"A hipster burnt his tongue Drinking coffee before it was cool."

"How much did the obese man know about fitness? Diddly squat"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? you can't fuck a rock"

"My girl threw this one at me right before bed: ""Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"" Because they always do a full cavity search!"

"Jews are lazy... ... essentially a group of people who couldn't be bothered to read the sequel. -Will Bailey (Cambridge footlights)"

"How do you make a hormone Stamp on her foot"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ? Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s"