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Joke of the Day

"Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars? He'd get it."

"Best/Funniest Pickup Line you used or heard"

"I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag."

"If a rabbit does not get any food for a week... ...he can swallow a whole python. If a rabbit does not get any food or sex for a week, the python will wish he were swallowed first."

"Chinese married a Chinese woman born baby blue eyes and blond hair, he called some thing wrong HAHAHAHA"

"""Waiter!"" shouted the furious diner ""How dare you serve me this! There's a damn TWIG in my soup!"" ""My apologies"" said the waiter. ""I'll inform the branch manager."""

"Oh we're halfway there Oh oh running from a bear I pushed you down Accidentally I swear Oh oh eaten by a bear You were eaten by a bear"

"Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula."

"Posting pumpkin carving pictures on social media is so last year."

"I'm going to get a sleeve tattoo of a farmers tan."