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Joke of the Day

"A rabbit trap fell on my head. It got caught on my hair."

"Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive? He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve."

"Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane? So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her."

"Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day."

"What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now? Germany/Brasil 7-1"

"I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes."

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose."

"Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant? He ordered some NaCl."

"There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned."