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Joke of the Day
"What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore? The Pittsburgh Steelers"
Next Joke
"It's a doge eat doge world out there. Such cutthroat. Very survival of the fitter"
"Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing] 7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE Me: [sigh] Thanks bud."
"My black cat just ate my four leaf clover. That can't be good......."
"[tells friend cat passed away] Is there anything I can do? Yes [holds up fur coat] put this on & lie in my lap But I- [starts crying] OK OK"
"What is grey and comes in quarts? an elephant."
"(Job Interview) Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'm unemployed. I: How about something personal? Me: Personally I need a job."
"Never trust an asshole. They're often full of shit. ^^^Sorry"
"Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you to get off your ass and do things."
"[Meta] Anyone else hate jokes that are too long? They usually have too many characters."